I had the most vivid dreams last night! Teeeheeee, my goodness, so vivid! I was so glad when i woke up to find out that they were all in my head and not actually happening for real. I didn't bother looking them up either because they were very obviously closely related to my being up the duffer. But my goodness, it was like a farce, it really was! It was ever so funny, i mean, if it had been a scene in a film i would have been cringing and laughing all at once...it really was looney!...Shall i just tell you what happened? YES! Ok then.
So it all started when i walked into this room which was all soft, almost like something out of the old soft mint adverts where everything was sort of pillow like. And a family member (i cant remember who), came up to me and handed me my twins! I had obviously just had twins unbeknownst to myself! Rather than being overjoyed i was slightly alarmed! Which i should point out now isn't a reflection on how i feel, i don't feel alarmed in the slightest in real life. However, in the dream i was alarmed, possibly because in true dream like fashion i hadn't actually given birth, the babies just appeared and got handed to me like a stork had just dropped them down the chimney whilst passing by! And hey presto, i'm suddenly a mother of two!
SO the next thing i know i'm ready to leave the room to go shopping for essentials when, and this is the embarrassing part, i started to produce milk! But in true slapstick, almost Tarantino style the milk just started to squirt everywhere like i was holding two hose pipes up to my chest! I say Tarantino because it was just like that scene in Kill Bill where everybody fights and blood squirts everywhere, but instead it was milk...and people weren't getting killed. It was a disaster. The babies were crying and i was upset and everyone looked disappointed! Can you imagine! Milk everywhere! THEN i magically appeared at the entrance to the supermarket with my trolley alongside my Aunty Pamela who was supposed to help me buy all the things on the list! However, the milk was still spraying and for some reason i started to run, and it all turned into an episode of supermarket sweep as i ran frantically between the aisles throwing cotton buds, nappies, wipes and anything baby related into my trolley so that i could get back to the babies before anything else horrible could happen. Aunty Pam was of no use, as i ran around flapping like a distressed seagull looking for things she seemed to stay put in the crisp aisle and i simply couldn't find the baby baths! Nightmare! All of this happening with the milk spluttering out on the shop floor so all the customers were falling over! Dear oh dear oh dear!